Ambiguous Chemical Terms*
a couple with links to drawings by Dr. Deane Tunaley
Drawings may not be copied. Deane works for the explosives division of ICI Australia -
he has no need of lawyers to extract retribution


ACETIC A marine parasite
ACTIN Former profession of famous 20th century U.S. president
ALKYNES It takes these to make a world
AMPOULE Sufficient
ANODE A poem
ANION Device for pressing clothes
ASYMMETRY A graveyard
ATOM A male cat
BARIUM When inquiring how to dispose of toxic chemical wastes
a junior chemist may be told this by an environmentally
unfriendly supervisor
BENIGN One of the vitamins in the B group
CATALYST A written record of a farmer's beef herd
CIS-MIGRATION Movement of ones sibling to another country
CLOSE PACKING A tourist will do this with the contents of a suitcase
COALESCENCE Liquid produced by the liquification of solid fossil fuels
COPPER NITRATE Rate of payment for police officers working evenings
COULOMB A well air-conditioned dwelling
CROWN JOULES Energy used by English royalty
CRYSTALLIZE When a crystallographer tells a colleague he grew
a crystal two feet long, you know he is telling these
DECREASE To iron crumpled clothes
DEGREES To remove grease
DISPERSION FORCES Police and military personnel who break up disorderly
crowds
DRYING AGENTS Group of damp FBI men sitting by a heater
DYING This occurs when large quantities of indigo are ingested
EDGE-SHARING What depressed stockbrokers do from the top of tall
buildings when stocks go down
ELECTRON Succinct campaign slogan used for President Reagan's
election
FACE-SHARING Kissing
FERROUS WHEEL A cyclic molecule composed of Fe2+ ions
FLUORESCENCE The odor of dirty carpets
FORMATES Members of a barbershop quartet
FREE ENERGY Sunlight
FREEZE-DRYING A process which usually occurs when one steps out of
a bath on a cold morning
FREEZING POINT
DEPRESSION
Anxiety experienced by people during harsh, northern
winters
FROTH FLOATATION A foaming glass of beer
GRADUATED
CYLINDERS
Well educated lab glassware
HARD WATER Hail stones
HERTZ This happens when you bang your head against
a wall with great frequency
HEXYL Where dissident Russian chemists were once
forced to flee
HISTONES Sounds of displeasure
IODATE Fruit of palm tree found on one of Jupiter's moons
IODINE-127 If you borrow $127 from the Dean of your college,
you may be required to give him or her a slip
of paper with this on it.
IRON A metal which was discovered when someone smelt it
ISATIN Exclamation by the Italian chemist who discovered tin
LACTOSE Description of aquatic birds with webbed feet
LITHARGIC Condition resulting from ingestion of lead oxide
LONDON FORCES British police
LONE PAIR A solitary piece of fruit
MAGNETIC MOMENTS When boy meets girl; can be attractive or repulsive
NEON LASER An expensive accident
NITROGEN FIXATION Unnaturally excessive desire for inert gases
NOBLE GASES What flatulent Dukes and Earls emit
NUCLEAR FISSION Still a popular aquatic sport near Chernobyl
ONE OUNCE OF
SILVER PEROXIDE
Rate of payment by early settlers for a
trapper's ox skins
PHEROMONES Low cries of pain uttered by sick, ancient
Egyptian rulers
PLATINUM BLUES A feeling of despondency commonly experienced by
platinum chemists
POLARIZE Frozen water in the Arctic
POLYCLINIC A parrot hospital
POLYSATURATED A very wet parrot
PORPHRYINS Low-income neighbors
POTASH Residue from a marijuana cigarette
QUARTZ Where tennis is played
RADIOACTIVE DATING Popular activity of young residents from the Three-Mile
Island and Chernobyl areas
REDOX A sunburnt beast of burden
SCHIFF BASE Moving one's business to another location
SILICONE A dunce's hat
SIX MOLAR
SOLUTION
A solution containing half a dozen dissolved teeth
SOLAR COLLECTOR A person basking in the sun
(may produce a tangent)
SOLUTE A private will do this when a General passes by
SOLVATION When sprinkled with holy water, a catholic chemist
may achieve this
SOLVENT A window
SURFACE TENSION Mental stress experienced by a champion surfer
TANNIN Solar collectors spend many hours engaged
in this activity
THENYL The longest river in Africa
THYMOL A congenital growth on the upper part of the leg
TRANS-EFFECT A phenomenon frequently encountered by chemistry
students in lectures
UREA Sense organ adjacent to your eye
WAVE MECHANICS The technique used by surfers to maintain balance
WOLFRAM Hybrid species produced by crossing a wild
dog with a sheep
ZINC SPONGE A washcloth used in kitchens

*These items originally appeared in the
Journal of Chemical Education between 1986-1991